Crazy Bitches
(Originally published on Blogcritics.org)
Billed as a horror/comedy, Crazy Bitches, written and directed by Jane Clark (Meth Head) was something of a disappointment. It wasn’t that scary, and not all that funny, but you might want to see it anyway. If the movie were only as funny as the titles and its website, it would have been great.
The premise: About 10 years after graduation, a group of former sorority sisters and their gay guy friend get together for a reunion at an isolated cabin in the woods. Sounds like the set-up for your typical bloody-teenager movie.
Since it is going to debut Friday the 13th, the day before Valentine’s Day, I was looking forward to lots of laughs and gore. I was thinking that I’d see something like Tucker and Dale vs Evil. The set-up certainly had that potential.
But, we don’t get our first dead body until an hour into the film. What goes on for the first 60 minutes? Mostly talking about relationships and a lot of softcore sex, reminiscent of hard-R movies from the 1980s–before people could find porn on the Internet, but without the nudity.
So, it should have been billed as a horror/comedy/soap opera. Though I’m not a fan of the soaps, I can report thatCrazy Bitches does present us with complicated, lustful and romantic (not necessarily all at the same time) relationships. Besides the guy friend BJ (Really), played by Andy Gala, (The Surrogate), one of the girls, Cassie, (Cathy DeBuono, Meth Head, And Then Came Lola) has Sapphic tastes.
The performances by this ensemble cast were very good. I especially liked Nayo Wallace (Least Among Saints, Dark Tourist) as a sorority sister trying to hide the fact that a cancer she had previously beaten into remission was back with a vengeance. I mentioned this was a comedy, right?
Another impressive performance was by Liz McGeever (Eternity: The Movie, Conjurer) as Minnie. Minnie is the ultimate politically correct, eggs-are-murder, animal rights, non-specifically spiritual, totally caring person. But, when she gets physically involved with Cassie, she ruins the moment by asking for reassurances that “no-one will know about this.” Cassie storms off muttering a rude comment about straight girls.
Andy Gala, as BJ, examines the first of a series of dead crazy bitches.
The protagonist of the story is Taylor (there’s a soap opera name for you), played by Samantha Colburn (Electric Slide, Shirin in Love). Her character appears at the beginning of the story, but then not for the next hour, as she is delayed in getting to the reunion.
Other members of the ensemble include Candis Cayne (Dirty Sexy Money), Guinevere Turner (American Psycho, The L Word), Blake Berris (Days Of Our Lives), Victoria Profeta (North Country) and Mary Jane Wells (How To Train Your Dragon 2).
Ultimately, bodies do start to fall and there is some throat slitting and strangulation. women are murdered in ways related their individual traits. For example, one of women is vain. Hence the tagline: “Live Vain, Die Ugly.”
The ending had me going “Wait, what?” as screenwriter Clark went for a Hitchcockian twist. I don’t think this twist was foreshadowed sufficiently, but maybe I missed it.
Should you see this film? It is mildly amusing, somewhat sexy, and if you like films with strong gay characters (it debuted last July at Outfest), you may enjoy this. Two or three glasses of wine will help. It will be released on Friday, February 13, on VOD, iTunes and other digital platforms.
